The words of the officiant reading ancient Scripture describing the union of two in marriage is often heard and disregarded as mere tradition. It takes some time, in my own case now over forty years of marriage, to see how there is more to that statement than even the most reflective may note.
Some, including this author, have said that married life can be like a rollercoaster ride. There are, no doubt, lots of ups and downs, twists, and turns but perhaps the rollercoaster isn’t the best descriptor.
In my own case it has taken multiple decades, the difficulties of my own children and their marriages. and the concerns that come in the way of grandchildren who have their own trials, some medical and some just life to bring me to where I am today. For me, though, it still took the reality of a terminal illness and watching how such news affects my strong, yet fragile, wife and my fairly large family.
After careful reflection, I am abandoning the visual picture of a rollercoaster and replacing it with the visual of a DNA helix. To survive the stresses of life, there cannot be a more important foundation than that of a strong Christ-based faith. Our faith must be in our DNA – informing everything we do and all that we are. With that are the dynamics of the helix. If the image is turned on its side and we see the curves more as ups and downs, one of the keys to success is timing. No matter our strength, there are days when I will be down and on those days I need my wife, my partner to be up. Then her strength and faith can help uphold me. There will days when my wife will succumb to the pressures of family life and an ill husband with a bleak diagnosis and have her down days. I must be refreshed and strong with my faith in tune to help her through her tough times.
Notice, too, on the helix, there are times when the bands cross. There will be days when, no matter how much faith we share, both of us will have down times. In addition to the Holy Spirit’s presence is how our family with their separate strengths can bring one another back to an even keel.
Thankfully there are times when those bands cross and we are both up. It certainly is not an even distribution that for every up there is a down. Many, in fact, currently most of our days are coming together for both of us to have up days. We should rest as best we can in knowing that all the twists are in the Father’s divine care and we, as with the roller-coaster analogy should remain buckled and ride with our hands and feet inside the ride until the ride comes to a complete halt!